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Read about the things that happen
throughout the world.

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Don't believe in everything you see or
hear.

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Read all about...

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And welcome to Mock the Week. I'm Dara
O'Brien. Joining us this week are Milton

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Jones, Rhys James and Sarah Keyworth,
Angela Barnes, Aher Shah and Glenn

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Moore.

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We'll start now with a round call. If
this is the answer, what is the

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question? On the board are six
categories. Sarah, which category would

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you like?

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Home news, please, Dara.

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OK, your topic is home news.

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The answer is nearly 100.

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What is the question?

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Is it at what age I will stop being
mistaken for a teenage boy?

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Is it how many times did I look at the
news this

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week and think I'm not going to bother
turning up?

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My husband's from the Middle East. Well,
Norfolk.

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And Mark Dewey has entered the war.

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Is it, how many years do you get in
prison if you ask the judge for a girl

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on his little hammer?

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Is it, how many problems has Jay-Z got?

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Very nearly, very nearly.

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For the older people, how many balloons
that are red has Nina got?

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Is it, how many of the 101 Dalmatians
were actually Labradors who'd been

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paintballing?

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Is it, how many bees tall am I?

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A hundred if I'm on my tippy toes.

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What does David Attenborough mutter
every morning to get himself through the

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day?

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How many times you can say duck before
people start to think you're never going

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to say goop?

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Last week, I gave Liz Truss a thousand
pounds to invest.

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How many pounds do I now have?

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How many times have I waited at the
stage door for Abba Voyage before

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realising they're not going to come out?

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Is it what percentage of Starra's body
is hairless?

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Surprisingly barely.

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Is it how many posters of Obama is too
many on my bedroom wall, considering

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she's not as famous as her dad?

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She's like 30.

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What are you doing?

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What would you score on Pointless for
playing Rhys James in the category Cool

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Sexy Comedian?

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Is it how many different animals are in
the cheapest sausage?

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Oh, that's the one.

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That's the same as Marley or Obama,
apparently.

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What percent of my money did I lose when
I invested in Brewdog the Musical?

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Is it how many laps of heaven Captain
Tom has completed?

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In many ways, you're editing the show
here, and I don't think you're making

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good decisions, are you?

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Sorry, do we have the correct answer? Is
it how many years Labour held Gorton and

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Denton's seat before the election?

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That's absolutely right. Thank you very
much, Rhys.

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Yes,

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the correct answer, I reckon, was how
many years did the Labour Party hold the

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seat in Gorton and Denton before losing
it to the Green Party in the recent by

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-election? She's our first ever Super
Mario MP.

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She is, yes. She's a plumber who we
haven't seen do any plumbing.

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Yeah, wants to legalise mushrooms.

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I think I'm turning into my nan, because
I keep referring to her as a lady

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plumber. That is a big debate, yeah,
yeah. Right, and I hate myself every

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time I say it. I think, what's going to
happen? I'm going to wake up, vote

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reform, and try and turn on the
dishwasher with the Sky remote.

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There's a whole thing about how...

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Female plumber? Sounds slightly creepy
and weird, so you're left with a lady

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plumber. Hello, I'm a lady plumber.
That's what I call my gynecologist.

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Absolutely.

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She's not a lady plumber.

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I'm a lady plumber.

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Wouldn't it be fair to say that we've
all been pretending we've always known

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what gortin and dentin is?

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I keep thinking it sounds like
manufacturers who make... trousers that

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old people can soil themselves in.

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Is that a company? Sorry, is there a
company that make trousers for old

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people to soil themselves in?

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It used to be on the back of Sunday
Supplements, but you're too young to

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remember that.

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Dragon, I'm asking for a hundred... We
will now do a demonstration.

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Over to you, Deborah.

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She did say in her victory speech, she
was like, apologies to anyone I've got

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appointments with, I'm going to have to
cancel.

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And if you did have an appointment with
her that she was going to pick, you'd be

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so pissed off. Yeah. But you'd want to
take it to your local MP.

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LAUGHTER You'd be like, you!

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Gee, there's a bloody racket round here.

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The thing is that Zach Polanski, who's
the leader of the Greens, isn't an MP,

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right? He's not a city MP. She now is,
because she's more powerful than him.

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So any time he tells her to do
something, she'll be like, yeah, all

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right, Billy Nosey, why don't you do it
yourself?

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LAUGHTER I think, Hannah, I think you
should ask the Prime Minister, oh, I

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think, I think, get your own seat, you
can ask him yourself, you dickhead.

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It's nice that the party called Labour
has been defeated by a woman who's done

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some.

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But the harsh thing is for Starmer,
because it's obviously a huge loss for

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Labour, that they didn't win this, and
one of the main reasons they won is

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because she was campaigning on being a
plumber, and the only reason she could

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be a plumber is with tools made by
Starmer's dad.

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Everyone's angry with Starmer, but
they're going to be even angrier when

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they find out how much promoting of
foreign manufacturing he does.

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Apparently the first word he said in his
wedding vows was IKEA.

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LAUGHTER How did

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Reform react to their loss at the
by-election?

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They claimed it was rigged. They did.
They said there was family voting.

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Yeah. But I think that's also just...
reform being suspicious of the concept

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of loved ones.

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That is what families are, isn't it?
It's like, yeah, we live in a democracy

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as society, but within that society and
democracy is a thousand mini

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dictatorships. That is what families
are. Parents are dictators, aren't they?

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Like, I didn't get a vote as a kid as to
whether or not I got christened. That

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was decided by this sort of Mussolini
figure who raised me.

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And her puppet husband.

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One half term, right, me and my siblings
won the Democratic vote to go to Thorpe

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Park, OK?

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Was that democracy upheld? No, we went
to Halford.

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It's all dictatorships. Of course, this
is how it works. You're a dictator.

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You've got kids, you're a dictator.

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Yeah, of course I am. Otherwise, stuff
wouldn't get done.

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I'm sorry, that sounds slightly fascist.

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You're not wearing a black shirt!

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I think I'm going to get this model
train to run on time.

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Meanwhile, what have the Clintons been
up to this week?

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Managing the greetings card company.

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You have to be right there. Meanwhile,
what have Bill and Hillary Clinton been

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up to this week?

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They've been being deposed about their
being in the Epstein file.

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And the thing is, Bill Clinton is sort
of the one guy where you're like, it'd

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be weirder if you hadn't been.

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You find out that Stephen Hawking was
there, and you're like, sorry, what?

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And then someone says that Clinton was
there, and you're like, oh yeah, the sex

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president. Yeah, the guy who had sex in
the Oval Office, how would he not have

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been there?

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Epstein would be in Clinton's file.

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It's just like, Clinton clearly has a
type, and that type is women with large

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black boxes around their face.

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That square thing has become so iconic
now that I'm going to do an app that

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just will redact your photos on your
phone just randomly.

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So when you're flicking through, just
redacted faces just appear.

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I think that is... Dragon, if you give
me... For a redacted one.

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So randomly your photographs will just
have somebody...

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It would be, though, if you did that on
your phone randomly and it just covered

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up your face.

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Although, yeah, Dara, no-one would ever
be able to work out who that was.

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You might want to redact the words, mock
the week, behind you.

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It's a very good point.

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Contextual clues.

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If you don't hold it right, it looks
like you're trying to sneak a peek.

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And redact it back.

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That's what it looks like when...

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Two ahead of you is a megabus, but ahead
of you is a hearse.

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Moving on, how are councils cracking
down

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on fly tipping?

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Why would they do that if a fly gives
you good service?

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I thought, like... You're right.

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Really mean.

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I've got a fly tip.

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If you wear a button rather than a zip,
you'll never forget to do it back up.

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You know, I remember the 5010. My cock
was always hanging out.

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Oh, I know. I've worked with you for
years.

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And that's why you're now redacted.

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So it just reminded me of a story. My
friend got on a train and went to the

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toilet and he accidentally hooked... I
can't tell it.

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We'll put a black square over it.

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He went to the toilet and he had his
earphones on.

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And when he came out, he hadn't realised
that when he'd done his trousers up, the

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earphone cord had wrapped around his
business.

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And then when he got back into the
train, he put his earphones on and just

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pulled his paper.

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Time for a podcast.

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The rest is history.

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What a weird December when your Spotify
wrapped is just your dick.

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Presumably he wouldn't have been able to
hear everyone screaming.

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The good thing is, if we all do a joke
about it, it has to go through.

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And do you know what? He was very
embarrassed and he let himself down a

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bit, but no one knew because he was
wearing a fresh pair of Gorton and

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Denton.

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At the end of that round, the points go
to Angela Aher and Glenn.

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Join us after the break for more Mock
the Week.

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Now we play a game called You Think
That's Bad.

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In a world where everything seems to be
going wrong, there's a chance for

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00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:19,240
performers to compete to outdo each
other with tales of woe from their lives

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and identify who is the worst.

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and you care to start it off i'll go
first if you like i bought um a tumble

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dryer this week because you know things
are going all right and um i got it home

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00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:33,370
and this tumble dryer is wi-fi enabled
and i don't really understand why and

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00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:37,050
it's made me really paranoid that the
russians are going to hack it and i

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00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:40,090
think they have because the other day i
took all the socks out and all the

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00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,530
little ones were inside one big one

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00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,920
you can actually save a lot of money on
a wi-fi enabled dryer if you set a vpn

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00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:56,920
to pretend it's somewhere warmer it's
really going to say that you have some

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00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:03,780
trousers that really need washing i
don't actually because i wear you think

191
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:07,200
that's bad uh my girlfriend's got this
parrot she keeps in this cage next to

192
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,730
the bed i hate it so much because it's
just such an idiot It's genuinely the

193
00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:13,150
dumbest parrot I've ever seen in my
life. It thinks I'm called Jonathan and

194
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,530
keeps asking me to fuck it harder. It's
like, my name is Rhys.

195
00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:23,190
If you think that's bad, I once texted
my dad saying, Hi, Dad, can you pick me

196
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:26,730
up tonight? But my phone changed the
word pick to oil.

197
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:31,550
Yeah, OK, Peter Mandelson, we believe
you.

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00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:35,670
If you think that's bad, the woman I'm
seeing at the moment thinks my name's

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00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:36,670
Jonathan.

200
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:47,960
Everything has just fallen into place.

201
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:50,160
Do you think that's bad?

202
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:55,100
Last week, my wife and I watched all the
episodes of Game of Thrones back to

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00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,660
back. Unfortunately, I wasn't the one
facing the screen.

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00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,940
What's the dragon like? Tell me what the
dragon is like.

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00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:12,280
Do you think that's bad? When I was at
school, I once called my teacher Dad

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00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,400
instead of Daddy. That was the worst.

207
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:19,790
You think that's bad? I just booked a
non-refundable holiday to Dubai in a

208
00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:20,790
week's time.

209
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:25,050
I think that's bad. I've had a difficult
life. My earliest memory is getting hit

210
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:26,990
round the head with a cricket bat when I
was 28.

211
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:34,130
I think that's bad. I tried to impress a
girl once by putting my foot down on the

212
00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:36,990
pedal, but apparently she'd seen a bin
open like that before.

213
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:45,660
I think that's bad. My own phone
auto-corrects my name to the word shit.

214
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,520
I hear it as shit, not shatter shit.

215
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,640
You'd assume it'd be shatter shit,
wouldn't you? I wouldn't perceive any of

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00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:53,640
that. I didn't perceive any of that.

217
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:57,100
Auto-corrects my first name to the word
shit. Auto-corrects my surname to the

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00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,100
word shag.

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00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,800
Which you are.

220
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Angela and I had a very acrimonious
divorce.

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00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,080
I've got a boyfriend.

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00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,500
Can we, in the edit, just use that?

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00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,240
At the end of that round, the points go
to Angela Aher and Clare.

224
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:34,640
The next round is called Redacted
Redacted Andrew Redacted Mammoth and

225
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:35,640
Redacted Island.

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00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,820
This game involves Angela and Milton, so
if you could make your way to the

227
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:40,820
performance area, please.

228
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,660
This round is a stand-up challenge. I
launch the wheel of news, and wherever

229
00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:46,560
children stop, one of our performers can
step forward and talk about that

230
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,640
subject. The winner is whoever I think
is the funniest.

231
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,360
Okay, here we go. Let's start off with a
topic, please.

232
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:52,640
Let's spin the wheel.

233
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,600
The first topic is nudity. Who wants to
go in that?

234
00:15:57,020 --> 00:15:58,020
Angela.

235
00:15:58,980 --> 00:16:01,000
The look of fear on the audience's face.

236
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:05,850
not good at being naked i don't like
being naked i've tried all those things

237
00:16:05,850 --> 00:16:09,090
you're supposed to do to be okay with
your own naked body you know you're

238
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:12,450
supposed to stand in front of a mirror
and say out loud all the things you love

239
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:15,590
about your body but unfortunately the
only thing i ever come up with is left

240
00:16:15,590 --> 00:16:17,510
nipple marginally less hairy than right

241
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:23,200
I wish I was more German, really. German
people are really good at being naked.

242
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,680
If you've ever been on a holiday to the
Canary Islands, you'll know it's just

243
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,720
English pubs and German penises as far
as the eye can see.

244
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:34,600
Well, they have the highest number of
nudists per capita in the world. That's

245
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,880
true for Germans. They love getting it
out. But they do it in a very German

246
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,920
way. They're not all embarrassed like we
are, a red face.

247
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:44,200
Why wouldn't I want to get the air on
all my bits? It's just very German.

248
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,920
And I read about this because there's a
German nudist movement. You might have

249
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:53,240
seen... their beaches all over Europe.
They're called the FKK beaches, you

250
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,400
know, the fried corporate culture, the
free body movement.

251
00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:59,380
And I'm telling you about it because I
read about the man who started that

252
00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:04,660
movement in the 1920s in Germany, and
his name was, I shit you not, Adolf

253
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:11,400
Koch. Now... I can't stop thinking about
Adolf Koch back in 1920s

254
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,680
Germany, because I think there must have
been a moment, there must have been a

255
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:15,700
moment where he went, oh, no.

256
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:21,359
Oh no, I started a nudist movement and
my last name is English slang for male

257
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:25,440
genitalia. Oh no, thank God I've got a
nice normal first name.

258
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:31,380
that happen he didn't know what was
around the corner that's how you know

259
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:35,060
that hitler's the worst dictator isn't
it because he's ruined both these names

260
00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:38,400
you can't call a baby adolf anymore
you're not allowed to you can still call

261
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:42,460
a baby benito you can still call a baby
joseph i said it to my friend he said

262
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:46,020
yeah you can still call a baby paul i
said paul he said paul pot i said that's

263
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:51,480
not his name glad you got that dara

264
00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:02,970
That leaves us with Milton. Let's see
what your topic is. Spin the wheel.

265
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:07,310
Topic is... Espionage.

266
00:18:17,110 --> 00:18:19,610
The Russians have infiltrated
everything.

267
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:24,350
Even the instructions to my cottage pie
last night said, Putin microwave.

268
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,180
Do you need to know something, ladies
and gentlemen?

269
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,800
I've spent some time in the secret
services.

270
00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:39,200
The ones between Swansea and Cardiff on
the M4.

271
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,480
Where all the signs are encrypted.

272
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:58,880
I'm not quite sure why I lost my job
with MI5 as an interrogator. I didn't

273
00:18:58,880 --> 00:18:59,880
like to ask.

274
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,920
They said that reports of me defecting
in a stairwell. I said they needed to

275
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,240
read the reports more carefully.

276
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:16,000
I was sponsored by Gorton and Denton.

277
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,360
Another time, I was supposed to put
bombs under ships in the harbour. I

278
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:27,700
accidentally filled all our breathing
equipment with nitrous oxide. I mean, we

279
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:28,860
laughed about it at the time.

280
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,160
By the time I woke up in the middle of
the night, there was a beautiful woman

281
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,000
in my bedroom. I said, who are you? What
do you want? She looked at me and went,

282
00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:40,140
Nikita.

283
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:44,500
And sure enough, when I woke up in the
morning, my radiator was missing.

284
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:58,620
It's not a Nikita.

285
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,020
not easy to kill, not even a mouse.

286
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,440
In fact, I'm still banned from Euro,
didn't I?

287
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:11,880
Thank you very much, Colonel Jones.

288
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,920
Give that round of applause to Colonel
Andrew.

289
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,720
Will you come back, please?

290
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,240
Join us after the break for more Moxie
Week.

291
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,980
Our next round is called Picture of the
Week. I show the panel a topical image

292
00:20:36,980 --> 00:20:38,200
and ask them to tell me what is
happening.

293
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:39,740
So, teens, what's going on here?

294
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:45,080
That looks like 8pm Christmas Day when
one person has still got their paper hat

295
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,080
on.

296
00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:52,700
It's a serious occasion, so he's wearing
the formal presidential trucker hat.

297
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,940
That hat was actually Lincoln's.

298
00:20:57,140 --> 00:21:00,980
Is this the picture of the happiest meal
anyone's ever had in a harvester?

299
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:05,510
That guy coming in through the curtain
going, sorry, I've got this room booked

300
00:21:05,510 --> 00:21:06,510
from four for Zumba.

301
00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:12,730
Is that what ChatGPT will show you if
you say, can I feed American Mock the

302
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:13,730
Week?

303
00:21:14,870 --> 00:21:19,270
Would this be the least appropriate time
ever for a photographer to say, now

304
00:21:19,270 --> 00:21:20,270
let's do a silly one?

305
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:25,530
Is this photo taken, like... Two minutes
after he said, which one is Iraq and

306
00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:26,530
which one is Iran?

307
00:21:28,070 --> 00:21:31,230
Come on, Donald, let's just plan one
more bombing, then you can stand in

308
00:21:31,230 --> 00:21:32,730
front of the map again and pretend to do
the weather.

309
00:21:35,630 --> 00:21:38,990
Well, they've hung black curtains and
drapes all around and it's completely

310
00:21:38,990 --> 00:21:40,810
changed the shape of the room. Let's see
what the owners think.

311
00:21:42,670 --> 00:21:46,010
I'm going to do something no president
has ever had the bravery to do.

312
00:21:46,350 --> 00:21:47,850
Bomb the Middle East.

313
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,980
That woman does look like she's just
said, we did say that we would wear

314
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:54,980
white today.

315
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:02,460
Imagine Keir Starmer wearing a hat with
GB written on it. I mean, Gordon Brown,

316
00:22:02,540 --> 00:22:03,540
all right.

317
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,060
Anyone have the correct answer, please?

318
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:08,220
It's Operation Epic Fury.

319
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:09,880
It is, of course. Thank you very much.

320
00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:15,910
Yes, this is US President Donald Trump
pictured in the Situation Room from

321
00:22:15,910 --> 00:22:19,110
where Operation Epic Fury was launched.
This is news that the United States and

322
00:22:19,110 --> 00:22:22,550
Israel launched extensive airstrikes
against Iran. In response, Iran has

323
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:25,310
launched retaliatory strikes across the
region, and at the time of recording,

324
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:26,830
the conflict is still ongoing.

325
00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:30,770
We are aware that it's a very sensitive
and fast-moving situation, and obviously

326
00:22:30,770 --> 00:22:34,670
we're everyone's choice, Mock the Week,
to discuss this at some detail.

327
00:22:35,010 --> 00:22:39,950
Yes, Mock the Week, they'll do a
brilliant job of really digging down in

328
00:22:39,950 --> 00:22:42,890
a sensitive way to what is a very
delicate situation. internationally.

329
00:22:43,490 --> 00:22:46,750
Yeah, Epic Fury, isn't it? It's so
American, isn't it? Might as well call

330
00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:48,030
it Operation Kaboom.

331
00:22:49,090 --> 00:22:52,250
What they should be calling it is
Operation Distract Everyone from the

332
00:22:52,250 --> 00:22:53,410
Epstein Files for a bit.

333
00:22:54,230 --> 00:22:57,030
Oh, shit, I've started a rally.

334
00:22:58,630 --> 00:23:01,210
It's not the most FIFA Peace Prize thing
he's done.

335
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:07,300
I will say that while that's maybe not
the most important thing in some ways,

336
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,660
it is quite the most striking thing that
he's the first person to ever host a

337
00:23:10,660 --> 00:23:13,840
World Cup and bomb one of the
participants in the building.

338
00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:18,260
There are very few precedents for that.

339
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:21,140
I think you'll find Italy did it to
Trinidad and Tobago in 2006.

340
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:28,180
Very yeah, a lot of clever people out
there. I mean you remember fathom who's

341
00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:33,500
saying he had a degree in chemistry and
combined in humanities Where

342
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:37,880
is the I

343
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:44,820
love that you just move on Dignify

344
00:23:44,820 --> 00:23:46,720
Milton with response you just turn away

345
00:23:48,980 --> 00:23:51,860
It gives it its time and then we move
on.

346
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:55,640
That's absolutely what we should do.
This is the situation room from which

347
00:23:55,640 --> 00:24:00,080
this was launched. Where is this top
secret secure room? Is it at a wedding

348
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,120
venue? It looks like they've just torn
it off a bit of a wedding venue. It's

349
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:04,120
very much at a wedding venue.

350
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,920
It's got all the security of a mum
holding a towel in front of you at the

351
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:07,920
beach.

352
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,200
What's happening? Are they saying,
please stop talking about the war? Yeah,

353
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,200
sort of.

354
00:24:15,380 --> 00:24:17,180
Can I remind you that you asked us?

355
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,400
At no point did I go, yes, I know we're
having some fun talking about shitting

356
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,700
yourself into trousers. I'd like to talk
about the war, please.

357
00:24:24,620 --> 00:24:26,380
Shitting yourself into trousers.

358
00:24:28,740 --> 00:24:35,600
I'm going to shit myself. In other

359
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,600
news.

360
00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:38,380
What's going on here?

361
00:24:38,620 --> 00:24:41,680
There's other news? Michael McIntyre's
tours hit Blackpool.

362
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,500
That's the smile of a man who actually
has a nuclear weapon.

363
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,060
This is how you solve a small boat
crisis.

364
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,160
He looks so shy.

365
00:24:57,460 --> 00:24:58,460
Doesn't he know he's beautiful?

366
00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:01,260
He is. He's so cute.

367
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:02,579
He's cute.

368
00:25:02,580 --> 00:25:06,380
He is cute. We have to admit, he is
cute. He might be evil, but he's cute.

369
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,480
He's like a labubu made of asbestos.

370
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,340
He is cute. Is he a little grab the
cheeks?

371
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,680
Yeah.

372
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,260
20 years ago, you'd get, like, photos
developed at the chemist, and then

373
00:25:19,260 --> 00:25:20,920
sometimes you'd end up getting someone
else's photo.

374
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,600
But it'd always look like this photo.

375
00:25:24,060 --> 00:25:27,200
I had a busy morning playing Jenga with
massive bricks.

376
00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:33,200
Yes, of course, it's a story that
Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong

377
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:37,720
-un, has officially named his successor
as his 13-year-old daughter, Kim Joo-ae.

378
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:42,230
Another photograph released this week,
wearing matching leather jackets,

379
00:25:42,330 --> 00:25:43,690
looking very cool.

380
00:25:43,910 --> 00:25:44,910
There they go!

381
00:25:45,230 --> 00:25:46,670
Whoa, their jackets are matching.

382
00:25:49,410 --> 00:25:51,730
Where'd they get them? The same shop?

383
00:25:56,170 --> 00:25:58,890
They're the same height, and they're
nearly 100 bees tall.

384
00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:05,050
What is amazing is that North Korea is
going to have a female leader before the

385
00:26:05,050 --> 00:26:06,050
Labour Party do.

386
00:26:07,930 --> 00:26:11,590
I didn't realise that Kim Jong-un
succeeded his own father.

387
00:26:11,990 --> 00:26:14,970
And it's just like, it's so annoying
when you really like somebody and then

388
00:26:14,970 --> 00:26:16,210
you realise they're a nepo baby.

389
00:26:19,190 --> 00:26:22,330
Moving on. What have shop differences in
the UK been targeting?

390
00:26:22,710 --> 00:26:26,810
Chocolate bars. Yes, chocolate bars. And
it's like a gang thing. Yeah. They found

391
00:26:26,810 --> 00:26:31,010
bodies of ten men wearing concrete shoes
in Wonka's Chocolate River.

392
00:26:32,990 --> 00:26:35,970
Now, apparently there was one man was
found with a...

393
00:26:36,350 --> 00:26:41,630
a coat full stuffed full with cadbury's
cream egg and reader i married him

394
00:26:41,630 --> 00:26:47,310
yeah chocolate has become the thing to
feel now there are lots of high value

395
00:26:47,310 --> 00:26:52,410
chocolates out there credo's a 45p now
that's oh yeah that's the real chocolate

396
00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:59,090
i can't believe people are stealing
chocolate maybe they should put a bounty

397
00:26:59,090 --> 00:27:00,090
on their head

398
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:11,460
You can edit that out if you want. I
can't believe you didn't believe in

399
00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:13,320
that, which is clearly the best joke of
the entire show.

400
00:27:14,980 --> 00:27:19,320
I remember years ago going into a
newsagent and opening a packet of Ferro

401
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:23,120
Rocher chocolate and took the wrapper
off and stuffed them down my trousers

402
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,540
and then the shopkeeper stopped me on
the way out and a couple of them just

403
00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:29,320
rolled out on the floor and he said, are
those chocolates?

404
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:30,820
And I said, I hope so.

405
00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:38,290
Didn't read the story about the guy who
was caught with a coat full of cremation

406
00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:41,590
all I could think is obviously I don't
condone violence, but imagine if they

407
00:27:41,590 --> 00:27:47,270
shot him You

408
00:27:47,270 --> 00:28:00,530
made

409
00:28:00,530 --> 00:28:01,810
me come my own car

410
00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:08,520
I'm washing my hands, and I'm washing my
hands, but the fondant won't come off.

411
00:28:10,620 --> 00:28:12,880
Is that better? Is that more what you
want?

412
00:28:14,660 --> 00:28:16,360
We can go back to this.

413
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,020
Insensitivity with the wall, or cum
jokes about cream eggs.

414
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:24,160
We only have two tones here.

415
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,100
Supermarkets are too accusatory anyway,
man. Whenever you're at the self

416
00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:31,100
-checkout, it says, have you swiped your
Nexacard? It's like, no, I signed up for

417
00:28:31,100 --> 00:28:32,100
it fair and square.

418
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,300
stolen to order, right? And I just
think, well, surely everything's stolen

419
00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:40,680
because someone wants it.

420
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:42,940
Who's going, that looks shit, I'll have
it.

421
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,200
TLC.

422
00:29:03,980 --> 00:29:06,560
Between the lines, if it's Glenn and
Rhys, would you make your way to the

423
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:07,560
press pit, please?

424
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,380
Rhys will deliver a speech in the guise
of a leading figure on the world stage,

425
00:29:10,580 --> 00:29:14,200
while Glenn will translate what they
really mean. This week, Rhys is Peter

426
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,200
Mandelson.

427
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:16,640
Oh, good.

428
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,120
Good evening.

429
00:29:20,180 --> 00:29:24,480
I am here to finally answer all your
questions. And at the end of the day,

430
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:25,980
there won't be a stain on my character.

431
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,320
I can't say the same about my pants.

432
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,300
I am not worthy of my period.

433
00:29:32,890 --> 00:29:34,750
I'm the worst lord since Voldemort.

434
00:29:36,030 --> 00:29:39,230
Let me be clear. I am not the Prince of
Darkness.

435
00:29:39,590 --> 00:29:41,190
I have been stripped of that title.

436
00:29:42,550 --> 00:29:45,090
I am now the Mountbatten Windsor of
Darkness.

437
00:29:48,390 --> 00:29:52,010
The idea of me as some evil manipulator
is ridiculous.

438
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,820
My life is in ruins.

439
00:30:08,060 --> 00:30:11,200
Who in their right mind would consider
employing me now?

440
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,900
I'm delighted to accept the role of
manager of Spurs.

441
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,720
I am proud to have created employment
opportunities for young people.

442
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:24,840
Thanks to Jeffrey Epstein, my husband's
a qualified osteopath.

443
00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:29,200
I am embarrassed by the images of me in
the Epstein files.

444
00:30:29,580 --> 00:30:30,900
I look like Winnie the fucking Pooh!

445
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,760
I am still good friends with Tony Blair.

446
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,140
Well, you recently texted me saying,
sorry, new phone, who did?

447
00:30:40,260 --> 00:30:43,260
I still have plans to make a positive
contribution.

448
00:30:43,820 --> 00:30:47,640
I will destroy Harry Potter and become
all powerful and immortal.

449
00:30:50,020 --> 00:30:51,520
So what is going on here?

450
00:31:01,580 --> 00:31:06,120
Is this a photograph of a man whose only
proven crime is friendship?

451
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,000
There is a male loneliness epidemic.

452
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,220
You've got to check in on your mates
10,000 times a day.

453
00:31:19,740 --> 00:31:21,320
It's OK not to be OK.

454
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,560
That's what he was emailing. I mean, you
can live on an island and also be an

455
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:26,560
island.

456
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,960
I recognise this. That's the frustrated
look of someone happy to... to collect a

457
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,300
parcel that's been left with a
neighbour, even though he was in all

458
00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:34,300
day.

459
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,240
It's weird to think that he's Nelson
Mandela's son.

460
00:31:45,540 --> 00:31:47,320
It's not commented on enough, I think.

461
00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:50,600
I mean, he must be in awful
disappointment with the family.

462
00:31:51,860 --> 00:31:55,480
Imagine being Peter Mandelson now. Every
time the phone rings, he must shit

463
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,400
himself. But luckily, he's wearing
gauze.

464
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:03,260
OK, at the end of the round, the points
go to Sir Rhys and Milton.

465
00:32:06,620 --> 00:32:09,380
Join us after the break for more Mock
the Week.

466
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:22,260
Now we play a round called What on
Earth? I've got the panel at the top of

467
00:32:22,260 --> 00:32:24,780
the image and ask them to tell me what's
happening. So, teams, what's going on

468
00:32:24,780 --> 00:32:25,780
here?

469
00:32:26,060 --> 00:32:27,060
Pull!

470
00:32:30,030 --> 00:32:32,830
Is this how Jeffrey Epstein actually
died?

471
00:32:34,550 --> 00:32:37,110
Is he saying, come on around, who
fucking wants some?

472
00:32:39,210 --> 00:32:42,250
The thing about this picture is, that
guy on the right's camouflage is good,

473
00:32:42,330 --> 00:32:44,630
but the six guys on the left's
camouflage is fucking amazing.

474
00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:50,530
Is this the only gun that's got a
trigger big enough for his finger?

475
00:32:52,690 --> 00:32:55,870
Has he just found an unconventional way
to scatter his mum's ashes?

476
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:08,020
sort of have the vibe of mummy's dead
and i can have a go now is he saying so

477
00:33:08,020 --> 00:33:13,220
during trooping of the color this can
fire three t-shirts into the crowd oh

478
00:33:13,220 --> 00:33:17,100
man if that's all that came out that
would be very funny if they did all that

479
00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:23,980
they would treat yourself child is it

480
00:33:23,980 --> 00:33:27,020
just for if any more of the family
decide to marry americans

481
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:30,680
Yes, it's actually an air rifle.

482
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:32,560
Oh!

483
00:33:33,060 --> 00:33:34,060
Come on!

484
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:37,240
Well,

485
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,120
welcome to Radio 4.

486
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:45,800
Quip of the week.

487
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,820
Oh, God, not on the BBC anymore.

488
00:33:51,380 --> 00:33:56,420
Yes, this is Charles handling a missile
launcher on a recent visit to an army

489
00:33:56,420 --> 00:33:59,550
barracks. What further indignity has
Brother Andrew suffered this week?

490
00:34:00,010 --> 00:34:00,909
Oh, it's terrible.

491
00:34:00,910 --> 00:34:04,590
They've said that King Charles has told
him not to go horse riding, but I think

492
00:34:04,590 --> 00:34:06,750
King Charles just told him not to mount
anything.

493
00:34:07,410 --> 00:34:09,750
LAUGHTER When was this, then?

494
00:34:10,030 --> 00:34:11,030
No, no, no.

495
00:34:11,469 --> 00:34:12,730
That's a file photograph.

496
00:34:12,949 --> 00:34:15,270
He didn't immediately go, well, screw
you!

497
00:34:15,889 --> 00:34:20,270
LAUGHTER The big issue was the horse in
question. That's sugar.

498
00:34:20,810 --> 00:34:21,810
LAUGHTER

499
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,560
would want to go horse riding anyway
because that's kind of an activity that

500
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,699
teenage girls are more in. Oh, I get it.
Okay.

501
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,840
Doesn't look good.

502
00:34:33,139 --> 00:34:35,520
No. He looks horrible on a horse.

503
00:34:40,380 --> 00:34:43,440
Charles said, we want you not to ride a
horse because it just doesn't suit you.

504
00:34:46,639 --> 00:34:47,639
Andrew, you look shit.

505
00:34:49,219 --> 00:34:52,239
Your legs are all out and down.

506
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:56,020
It's not a good look for you, Andrew.

507
00:34:56,699 --> 00:34:59,860
Do you think those trousers have been
made by Gorton and Denton?

508
00:35:02,020 --> 00:35:05,220
I don't think people would recognise
him, actually. Well, you can see the

509
00:35:05,220 --> 00:35:08,300
bloke who was putting the lines on a
football pitch just went right over him.

510
00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:14,360
Do you think he, you know, because he
must be stressed at the moment with all

511
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:15,360
this stuff that's going on.

512
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,560
I'm sure it's his fault, but he must
still be. Do you think he listens to

513
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,540
relaxation tapes to try and take the
edge off and it's like, just breathe,

514
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,060
imagine you're on a desert island and he
goes...

515
00:35:24,060 --> 00:35:30,800
Apparently, now

516
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,500
he's been banned from River Island.

517
00:35:36,540 --> 00:35:39,440
At the end of that round, the points go
to Angela Ahern-Glenn.

518
00:35:43,980 --> 00:35:47,380
Now we turn to scenes we'd like to see,
so if everyone can make their way over

519
00:35:47,380 --> 00:35:50,220
to the performance area, I'll read out
this week's topic, then we'll see what

520
00:35:50,220 --> 00:35:55,180
our panellists can come up with. Here we
go, the first subject is unlikely things

521
00:35:55,180 --> 00:35:56,200
to hear in hospital.

522
00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,820
Come straight through, we're not busy.

523
00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:08,440
Sorry, you're not going to believe this,
but it turns out that with this sort of

524
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,020
machine, turning it off and on again is
actually the worst thing you can do.

525
00:36:15,660 --> 00:36:17,080
I'm afraid it's bad news.

526
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,060
I've left my wedding ring in your bum.

527
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:27,640
We have the results of your are you
allergic to chairs test.

528
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,600
You might want to stand up for this.

529
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,460
So you sat down suddenly on a golf
course and had sudden rectal pain.

530
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:39,640
That's a red flag for me.

531
00:36:43,759 --> 00:36:45,240
Okay, just stand still for the x-ray.

532
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,560
Great. All right, let's do a silly one.

533
00:36:50,460 --> 00:36:53,360
You can't keep prescribing pizza, Dr.
Oetker.

534
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,260
I've got the results from your x-ray.

535
00:37:00,860 --> 00:37:02,600
He doesn't want to get back together.

536
00:37:09,590 --> 00:37:13,210
Well, I was told that grieving and
shitting yourself during childbirth was

537
00:37:13,210 --> 00:37:15,650
normal, but now apparently I'm a bad
midwife.

538
00:37:19,910 --> 00:37:21,610
Son of a bitch.

539
00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:25,210
Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Bitch,
it's a beautiful baby boy.

540
00:37:27,930 --> 00:37:31,610
Mr. Smith, you've got a sausage up your
nose and mashed potato in your hair.

541
00:37:31,850 --> 00:37:33,590
You need to eat more sensibly.

542
00:37:37,390 --> 00:37:41,150
I appreciate that you're upset, and I'm
not trying to brag or anything, but I

543
00:37:41,150 --> 00:37:43,270
said he had six months, and I got it
bang on.

544
00:37:46,630 --> 00:37:50,050
Madam, when I said open wide, I meant
your mouth.

545
00:37:52,670 --> 00:37:56,710
Well, Mr. Wallace, incredible to see.
They've done a very successful full face

546
00:37:56,710 --> 00:37:58,710
and full body transplant.

547
00:37:58,950 --> 00:37:59,950
I'm in the wrong room.

548
00:38:03,460 --> 00:38:07,320
Yes, we first became concerned that you
had a problem with cholesterol when we

549
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:08,580
took a slice of blood.

550
00:38:14,620 --> 00:38:15,620
We've lost him.

551
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,040
Oh, no, he's over there.

552
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,140
I'm afraid you're going to have to take
a pill a day every day for the rest of

553
00:38:25,140 --> 00:38:25,759
your life.

554
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,960
So here's nine pills.

555
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,000
The parking here is free.

556
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:43,700
Bad news, you did shit yourself during
surgery.

557
00:38:43,980 --> 00:38:46,880
But good news, you were wearing Gordon
and Denton trousers!

558
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:52,200
Going down?

559
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,940
Yeah, I'll tell you how your
grandmother's operation went in a

560
00:38:54,940 --> 00:38:57,400
second, but could you just press that
button, please? The one that says

561
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,400
morgue.

562
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:05,480
Now, don't... Don't worry, this sort of
shooting, stabbing pain is very common

563
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:06,980
in people who've been shot and stabbed.

564
00:39:10,220 --> 00:39:13,520
I've been a doctor for 30 years. Of
course you can show me your scar.

565
00:39:17,820 --> 00:39:21,260
The surgery was a success.

566
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,740
We managed to amputate your leg with no
problems. And we kept the one with the

567
00:39:24,740 --> 00:39:26,600
cool tattoo that says, amputate.

568
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,120
The next topic is...

569
00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:33,570
Things you wouldn't hear in a cooking
show.

570
00:39:35,330 --> 00:39:40,790
And this week it's a tricky skills test
as we ask our chef to negotiate peace in

571
00:39:40,790 --> 00:39:41,790
the Middle East.

572
00:39:44,030 --> 00:39:47,330
As you can see, this lamb just falls
right off the bone, which is why we're

573
00:39:47,330 --> 00:39:48,330
at the vet.

574
00:39:51,150 --> 00:39:55,690
I want that real home-cooked feel, so
I'm going to cock up the recipe, throw

575
00:39:55,690 --> 00:39:58,550
it in the garden and tell my husband to
cook his own fucking dinner.

576
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,560
And today on Celebrity MasterChef, the
surrealist Icelandic singer is cooking

577
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:07,560
pjork.

578
00:40:13,020 --> 00:40:14,020
Hate speech?

579
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:17,240
Hate speech? What do you mean, hate
speech? I just want to know the chairman

580
00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:19,800
of the judges has a flavour of yoghurt
he doesn't like.

581
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:21,500
Oh, hate speech.

582
00:40:26,540 --> 00:40:29,220
So if you just give a little tap on the
bottom, you'll lose your job at

583
00:40:29,220 --> 00:40:30,220
MasterChef.

584
00:40:33,740 --> 00:40:36,720
Well, as you can see, chopping up onions
has really made me cry.

585
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,220
But thank you for watching.

586
00:40:38,580 --> 00:40:41,700
Today's episode is in memory of our
beloved family dog, onions.

587
00:40:46,740 --> 00:40:50,620
Here's a little tip if you're making
your own sourdough. Shut up about it,

588
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:51,680
nobody gives a fuck.

589
00:40:55,740 --> 00:40:59,380
Today I'm making a classic roast chicken
with an American twist.

590
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:00,920
The chicken's got a gun!

591
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:10,040
intentionally left the chicken raw in
the middle because i know greg wallace

592
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:16,840
is going to be tasting it simba i know

593
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:22,640
you thought it was selling out to do a
lion king cookery show but i brought you

594
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:28,200
a sandwich tuna tomato okay

595
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:34,930
this is mary berry saying you've got
Five minutes

596
00:41:34,930 --> 00:41:38,290
left, bakers, and I'm getting fucking
hungry.

597
00:41:45,210 --> 00:41:51,870
Now, do be careful, because if there's
too much oil,

598
00:41:51,990 --> 00:41:54,070
there's a chance you'll be bombed by the
United States.

599
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,700
I like to call up the local Italian and
have sex with her instead of my wife.

600
00:42:08,020 --> 00:42:11,720
Simmer for 20 to 30 years and then snap
and kill everyone.

601
00:42:15,580 --> 00:42:19,420
Well, in 15 years of presenting Bake
Off, that is the most delicious pastry

602
00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:20,399
I've ever tasted.

603
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,300
I think you've earned the famous Paul
Hollywood handjob.

604
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:33,760
Welcome to Is It Case? where you can't
believe it's cake and we can't believe

605
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:34,800
you watch this shit.

606
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:40,980
Once again, today we're going to be
making fruit wine.

607
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:44,340
I'm going to be using my feet to crush
the banana skin.

608
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:54,120
This dessert is rather naughty. In fact,
it features really quite prominently in

609
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:55,120
the Epstein files.

610
00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,920
What the fuck are you doing?

611
00:43:00,140 --> 00:43:02,490
What the fuck? Fuck is that? This piece
of... That's not a souffle. That's a

612
00:43:02,490 --> 00:43:03,490
piece of shit.

613
00:43:03,550 --> 00:43:06,530
You're a fucking lowlife. How are you
going to win Junior MasterChef like

614
00:43:06,530 --> 00:43:07,530
this?

615
00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:11,410
Back to the end of that round. The
points go to Sarah, Rhys and Milton.

616
00:43:15,470 --> 00:43:20,230
And that's the end of the show. This
week's winners are Angela Barnes, Aher

617
00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:21,230
Shah and Zen Moore.

618
00:43:23,450 --> 00:43:26,590
Commiserations to Milton Jones, Rhys
James and Sarah Keyworth.

619
00:43:28,270 --> 00:43:30,250
Thanks for watching. I'm Daryl Breen.

620
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:31,640
Good night.